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How To Get Rid of the Fear of What Others Think About You as a Blogger

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We live on a planet populated by over 7 billion people.

Each a unique spirit that came forth to this planet to experience contrast in order to establish a set of unique preferences which will aid in the expansion of the Universe.

In other words, each of us is here for a different reason to create a unique life with a unique set of preferences.

The next time you go to a grocery store or a shopping mall with a busy parking lot, just look around and notice all the different cars parked in their spots.

Why are all the cars different?

I mean as humans, shouldn’t we have already figured out which one of the thousands of cars available out there is the BEST car?

Shouldn’t we have at least figured out which COLOR is the best color?

Why is there still so many different types of cars out there in 2015?  Why haven’t we figured out what the best option is and just all agreed to go with that option?

The reason is because we are ALL unique and all different, and our lives are different and our needs, desires and preferences are all different.

Intuitively, we all know this to be true.

But then if we’re all unique and different then why do we spend so much time and energy worrying about what other people think!?

This short video clip from Abraham / Hicks offers some great insight:

The interesting part that I really like from this video is how Abraham mentions that our well-meaning parents spent our childhood slowly but surely CONVINCING us that our happiness depended on pleasing them.

In other words, when we did things that pleased our parents, they applauded us, cheered us on, gave us positive attention and flowed love towards us.

And when we did things that were not pleasing to our parents, they yelled at us, scolded us, gave us negative attention and held back love from us.

They did this so that they could “steer” us away from danger and hurt and towards safety, as frankly we were still much too naive and inexperienced to be able to think for ourselves.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this – it’s called parenting.

When we were young children we would often disagree with our parent’s opinions when we wanted something and we would try to think for ourselves.

Our parents would say “Don’t touch the oven, you’ll burn your hands!” and what would we do?

We would think they’re full of crap, and we would want to touch the oven.

Then we would touch the oven and we would burn our hands and then run crying to our parents, and they would say “I told you so!  You need to LISTEN to me!  I know what’s BEST for you!” as they consoled us.

Slowly but surely we would be conditioned to think that our parents knew what’s best for us and that we are often mistaken when we think we know what’s best for us.

Once that line of thinking was ingrained in our minds we would go to school, where we would meet our teachers and the whole process would begin again.

At first we would rebel against our teachers, but slowly over time we would be conditioned to the fact that THEY know what’s best for us.

We would be taken to the doctor’s office and again we would be taught that the doctor knows what’s best for us as well.

And the truth is that as children, these well-intentioned adults probably DID know what was better for us than we knew for ourselves – IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS!

If it wasn’t for them, we probably would have DIED by now doing all the stupid things that popped into our heads. 🙂

Sticking a fork in the electric socket?  Yeah sure, that sounds like a great idea!!! 🙂

See my point?

… but the thing is that we are not children anymore.  We are now adults and we have our own built-in “Emotional Guidance System” / Intuition and it is now mature and when we connect to it properly, *IT* is the true essence of us that knows what’s best for us – not our parents, our teachers our siblings or anyone else.

NOBODY knows what’s best for you except YOU and YOUR inner essence.

We all know this, but very often people still ask me…

“Paul, I don’t know why, but I still worry about what other people think…  I try to write a Blog post but then I’m scared to publish it because I’m worried about what others might think…”

or

“Paul, I shot this video and I was going to upload it to YouTube, but then I got this like crazy fear of what people might think of me!  I don’t get it.  Why do I care so much what people think of me!?”

Well, the truth is that the reason why you CARE is because for the first 18 years of your life you were PROGRAMMED / CONDITIONED with a program that could essentially be reduced down to this statement:

“Do what pleases your parents, teachers, friends, society or you MIGHT DIE!  You don’t want to DIE do you!?”

Of course it wasn’t stated in this way, with this type of extreme language, but that is essentially how we were programmed.

Again, when we did things that pleased our parents, we were given what we wanted, positive attention, love and affection.

And when we did the opposite we received the opposite.

Couple that with the fact that our very DNA is programmed with the programming that in order to survive we must be a part of the PACK / HERD, otherwise if we are expelled form the PACK / HERD we will be alone in the wilderness and then we will die!

Is it any wonder that we grow up to be adults who can’t think for ourselves without worrying about what others might think, and we can’t even do something as SIMPLE as writing a Blog post or shooting a video and uploading it to YouTube?

See, before you write that blog post and publish it…you’re part of your HERD.

You’re part of the PACK.

Safe!

But what if you click that publish button, and write that Blog post, where you share YOUR truth, with all the positive intentions that you may have… and then what if the HERD / PACK rejects you!

You might die!

Well, not really… but that is what the child inside of you has been programmed with.

It took me TWO DAYS to publish my first Blog post.

I wrote it, and re-wrote it and printed it out and read it over and over again and I was CONCERNED!

“What if people think this is stupid?”

“What if my boss reads this?”

“What if my co-workers read this and make fun of me?!”

“What if … what if… what if!!!!”

And finally I DID publish that post.  And I didn’t die!

Then I published another, and another, and another.

And slowly but surely I eliminated my fear of what people think…

… I write my Blog posts with ease now because I don’t really care what others think.

Of course I want *SOME* people (ie. my target market) to get value from my blog posts, but I don’t care what people think of ME for writing the posts.

That is one of the most precious gifts and benefits you can get from blogging.

The GIFT of slowly and gently growing more and more confident in your ability to NOT GIVE A SHIT what the rest of the HERD/PACK thinks of you!

So when people say to me “Paul, how do I overcome this constant WORRY I have of what others think of me!?”

My answer is simple…

KEEP BLOGGING!

As you Blog, you’ll start to get followers and people telling you how much value they get from your Blog posts…

… and also at the same time you’ll start getting some “haters”.

This is normal!  Don’t freak out when you get a “hater”.

All it means is that you’re doing the right things.

It means that you’re polarizing your blog audience, which is exactly what you want.

Let me give you an example…

One of the qualities of my target market is that my target market takes 100% responsibility for their lives.

People who try to blame others for things that go wrong in their lives are NOT my target market.

So when people like that arrive on my Blog, they usually become my “haters”, and that’s okay because I’m not here to help those types of people.

For example, I once had a lady email me blaming me for the fact that her 12 year old son was on her computer / Internet, and he came across my Blog where I had said the word “crap” and she didn’t appreciate me exposing her son to such vulgar language.

She actually emailed me saying that!

LOL!

I kindly pointed her towards my terms and conditions where I clearly state that anyone who is under 18 should NOT be reading my site as heck, from time to time I might say something as vulgar as the word “CRAP” (gasp!), but at the same time it boggled my mind as to how naive this lady was…

… she was giving her 12 year old son UNRESTRICTED access to a computer with a full Internet connection and the thing she was worried about exposing him to was my blog saying the word CRAP?!!!

Seriously!?  Has she not seen what’s on the Internet?!

Not only that, but does she really think that the worst word her son has heard growing up and going to school as a 12 year old is the word “crap”?

My point though is that as I kept blogging, and my audience grew, from time to time I would get these comments or emails from “haters” and they come in all shapes and sizes. 🙂

But the cool thing is that as you KEEP BLOGGING, you start to build confidence and these types of opinions of others begin to matter less and less and less to you…

… and that is where TRUE FREEDOM starts to spring from in your life.

Because just think about it…

… imagine if you have ALL the money in the world… like let’s say you won the lottery…

… and imagine you had ALL the time in the world…

… and you thought that those things would give you FREEDOM…

… but you hadn’t yet overcome your fear of what others think of you…

How free would you really be?

You wouldn’t be free at all, would you!!!???

You’d just be a retired, rich person who was still like a little CHILD… spending every day of their life worrying about what others think of them!

Sometimes people say to me “Paul, yeah…I don’t know if Blogging is for me… I don’t know if I’m comfortable posting my thoughts online… I worry too much what people think… that’s why I’m thinking of starting this business over here… I think I can make a lot of money with it, and I don’t have to Blog and worry about being judged.”

Really?

And let’s say you DO make a lot of money with “THAT” business over there… will you really be FREE if you still stay up at night worrying about what others think of you?

That’s not freedom.

True freedom comes from honoring the child inside of you who didn’t know what was best for you in certain situations growing up, and at the same time letting that child go, and allowing the ADULT version of you to come forth and to start thinking for yourself and NOT worrying what the “HERD” thinks of you.

That is the only way you’ll ever be free.

You can’t be free if you continue to live your entire life trying to please everyone around you, somehow expecting to derive happiness from that.

So what’s the best way to take one tiny little step forward towards overcoming your fear of what others think of you?

Start a blog and write your first post.

Then publish another.

Then publish another.

…

How to Turn On Pinterest Analytics

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I watched an amazing webinar tonight from someone who is making a six-figure income with her Blog and one of the channels of traffic she has mastered using was Pintrest.

I honestly haven’t done a lot with Pinterest yet, but after seeing the webinar I am definitely more interested in learning more.

One of the tips that she shared with us on the webinar to maximize the results you’re getting on Pinterest is to enable their built-in analytics platform.

At first I was a bit confused as there IS no analytics platform in my Pinterest account but then I found out that you have to follow a few simple steps to turn it on.

Once I figured out how to do it, I decided to shoot a quick video show others how to do it as it’s not totally intuitive.

Here’s the video of how to turn on the Analytics feature in your Pinterest account:

Cool eh?

 

My Wife’s New Car

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Last week I wrote a post stating that it was looking like my wife might be the first one out of the two of us to get a free car from blogging.

She started the year off by taking the 21 Day Blogging Challenge and it helped her to raise more awareness and to get more clients for her home based business.

We have both been in the market for a new car for a while now, since both our cars are over 10 years old.

When we made the decision to upgrade our cars at the beginning of this year, we also decided to do it by first focusing on boosting the income we make from our home based businesses by embracing Blogging on a regular basis.

We knew that getting new cars would be a lot of fun, but we also realized that just like most people out there, we don’t really like making car payments to pay for those cars. 🙂

So what we decided was that if we could first boost our business incomes to the point where the extra income paid for all or at the very least the majority of the car payments, then we would be able to get the benefit of getting a new car without the major drawback of having an extra payment to take care of.

That makes the process of getting a new car WAY more fun as my wife and I experienced this weekend when we bought her new car.

I shot this quick video today to show off her new Mazda that she bought, and to hopefully inspire others to consider starting their blogging careers by taking the 21 Day Blogging Challenge so that they can manifest the money to buy whatever they want in their lives – whether that’s a new car or something else.

Check out the video here:

If you liked the video, do me a favor and hit the little thumbs up button that appears when you hover over the video to tell me that you liked it.

 

3 Blogging Myths That Are Just Not True

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Here are three very common blogging myths that I hear all the time that are just not true.

Myth #1 – You Have To Be a Good Writer to Blog

One of the most common excuses I hear from people about starting a Blog is that they say that they’re not good at writing.

Yet, the very same people text 5,000 words of text to all their friends throughout the day, and post dozens of facebook updates.

You don’t have to be a great writer to be a great blogger.  Blogging is about making a connection with your audience and communicating with them in a comfortable, conversational style.

It is NOT about winning an English literary prize for best writer.

Also, nobody even said you have to write.  If you prefer you could make videos, and then outsource the process of transcribing your videos into blog posts.

Or just record videos, upload them to YouTube, and then write a short blog post of just a few sentences introducing the video and then embed the video in your post.

Myth #2 – To Start a Blog I Need to Pick One Niche Topic and Know Exactly What I’m Going to Blog About

This is another common myth.

Most people think that they need to pick just ONE ultra-targeted niche topic for their Blog and then do nothing but write content related to that topic.

You don’t have to do that.

You can Blog about various different subjects that interest you, and you don’t have to be an expert in any field to Blog about it.

With proper training you can train your mind to start generating Blog post content ideas as you’re living your life.

You can turn almost anything that you experience throughout the day into an interesting Blog post piece.

You can find some of the best training I’ve seen on this topic by clicking here.

Myth #3 – Starting a Blog is Complicated

Another common thing I hear people say about Blogging is that starting a Blog is complicated and requires technical knowledge.

Until fairly recently, I would somewhat agree with this statement because Blogging used to be complicated.

As a techie / former computer programmer, I found the technology required to setup a Blog fairly easy to understand, but not everyone has a programming / techie background like I do, so it used to be pretty difficult to get starting with Blogging without being a techie or hiring one to help you out.

Luckily today with the Kalatu Brand Station platform, all of that is virtually eliminated.

Kalatu allows anyone to setup a Blog in just a few simple steps without any prior technical knowledge.

Also, the other benefit of using the Kalatu platform is that it is based on the WordPress platform, but unlike using WordPress on your own hosted platform, Kalatu offers you training and support for using their software.

If you’d like to see a full rundown of why Kalatu is better than WordPress click here.

How to Manifest Your Dreams Faster With This One Trick

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Do you have big dreams, but find that you’re not getting any closer to them?

Do you want to make your dreams come true, but find that you are missing certain resources to make them happen?

One of my dreams is to become a multi-millionaire who invests in small up and coming start-ups.

I love entrepreneurship and I would love to have enough money to invest in a bunch of amazing companies that have great ideas, and great people, but that just need some help financially to get going.

When I think about my dream, typically the first place that my mind will go to is a future time where it envisions me having millions and millions of dollars and THEN investing in certain start-up companies.

It kind of pre-supposes that I need to be a multi-millionaire first, before investing in companies because that is the vision that I have for my future.

However, there is a faster way to achieve your dreams by starting to take action towards your dreams WITHIN the resources you currently have available to you, instead of waiting for ALL the resources you would need before getting started.

For example, going back to my example of wanting to invest millions of dollars into entrepreneurial ventures that I believe in, right now I don’t have an extra few million dollars lying around to invest in companies…

… so it would be easy for me to think “Ah, whatever…I’ll just wait until I am a multi-millionaire with extra cash lying around then I’ll start investing.”

However, what if I didn’t place such unnecessary limitations on myself?

What if I could start funding entrepreneurial ventures NOW – TODAY?

But instead of investing millions of dollars which I don’t currently have yet, what if I could do it in a small way?

By applying this line of thinking in my life, I have been able to start moving towards my dream in a very tiny way… basically “Micro-Starting” the process.

How?

Well, simply by making the decision to get started right away, and not waiting for some future day in my life, the Universe starting to bring to me many different opportunities where I could get involved in very small ways.

For example I have funded about a half-dozen crowdfunding projects, including the Skulpt Aim weight loss gadget I just did a video of a few days ago.

Another example of getting started in a very small way, has been my Kiva micro-loan campaign that I started earlier this year.

We’re not talking about huge amounts of money here to get started with these types of projects, but the energetic payoff has been awesome as it makes me feel amazing to know that even though I’m not yet at the level I want to be financially to be able to fund much larger projects, I can at least still be involved TODAY albeit in a smaller way.

Now, ask yourself… what are some of YOUR dreams?

Are there certain resources that you still lack to make them come true?

Not enough time?

Not enough money?

Not enough connections?

Not enough knowledge?

All these different types of resources could hold you back from expressing your dreams, but they don’t have to!

What if you just took one tiny step forward?

For example, let’s say that your dream is to make a full time income online working from home…

… but let’s say that you’ve never made a single penny online yet and you feel totally overwhelmed with all the stuff you need to do to get started.

Well, what if you just took one tiny step forward, like registered your first domain, or setup a Blog?

Don’t over-think it.

Don’t worry about what Step 2 or Step 3 or Step 100 is going to be just yet…

… only focus on taking one tiny step forward.

Another one of my dreams is that I want to be a DJ / Music producer as well…

… however, right now my time is primarily focused on building my online businesses such as this blog, so I don’t have a lot of time to work on that dream.

However, instead of just ignoring that dream completely, what I do is I carve out tiny moments of time when I work on being a DJ / Music producer.

For example, last night at around 1 am in the morning, I spent about an hour of my time learning one of my first transitions that I learned as a DJ.

Even though I only had one hour of time I could devote towards making that dream happen, one hour is better than zero.

ANYTHING is better than zero.

To make your dreams come true, you have to get out of the mentality of thinking that life is an “ALL OR NOTHING” game.

Do whatever you CAN do right now with the resources you currently have, and the Universe will flow MORE resources your way.