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The Dream Building Hack That Will Stop You From Self-Sabotaging Your Success

August 20, 2015 by Paul 2 Comments

Everyone knows that achieving success in life starts with a dream.

It doesn’t matter what kind of dreams we have, it just matters that we DO have dreams.

Without dreams life becomes empty, boring, depressing and hopeless.

One piece of advice that has been highlighted to me from my mentors in the last few years especially, is for me to get more clear on my dreams and to DREAM BIG.

I enjoy dream building and setting goals and such, but I have to admit that until recently I never took the process of dreaming big very seriously.

Most often I would just kind of think about and dream about the next step in my life, not something HUGE and massive out there.

Meaning, I have mostly been operating out of a short term 3-6 months or maybe 1 year time frame when it comes to my goals and dreams.

However, I recently discovered a flaw to this method of short-term dream building and I’m now starting to see the value of dreaming MUCH bigger than that.

How Subconscious Dream Building Can Sabotage Your Success

When I recently re-launched my TabletopGamer.com Blog, I didn’t really sit down to map out a long-term vision / dream for that project.

I simply re-launched that Blog, and I set some short-term goals for the next few months and I kind of figured that I would just figure things out along the way.

I didn’t really see the point of sitting down and DREAMING BIG when it comes to that Blog / Business I’m running in the tabletop gaming niche.

I know what short-term goals I’ve got and I’ve been working towards those, but I didn’t take the time to sit down and consider the long term.

What I didn’t realize though is that at the subconscious level, my mind had actually started to create a long-term vision of what my business / blog would look like, in that niche market, if I was to continue to be more and more successful with it.

It’s almost as if when we don’t consciously CREATE A VISION / BIG DREAM, our subconscious mind fills in that void with it’s own vision / big dream.

Now you might be thinking – “What’s wrong with that?  If our subconscious mind is already automatically dreaming big on our behalf, why waste our time on it?”

Well, here’s the challenge with it…

You see, when our subconscious mind creates a long-term vision or “Big Dream” for a project we’re working on, it does so by compiling data from the external world and it essentially creates a vision based on an amalgamation of various visions and dreams that OTHER people in a specific niche have had.

For example, in the tabletop gaming niche there are about a dozen entrepreneurs who I have been following and watching videos from and reading blog posts from in that niche market.

This group of dozen or so entrepreneurs have built fairly successful businesses within that niche.

What I didn’t realize is that unconsciously my mind took the setup and structure of all these different businesses and kind of created a “BIG DREAM” for me based on a mish-mash of their business models.

Meaning, if we don’t paint a picture for our subconscious mind of what we want our success to look like, it will kind of make up it’s own definition for what success will look like in a specific niche.

As an example, most of the people who are running successful businesses within the tabletop gaming niche market have offices with staff / employees.

So unconsciously my mind created this “Dream” inside my mind where it was thinking that MY DREAM was to one day have a big office with staff / employees.

In reality though, that is NOT what I desire to do with my Blog / Business in the tabletop gaming niche.

I really enjoy being able to work from home, so I don’t really WANT to be running and managing an office full of employees.

However, because I didn’t specifically sit down and think about that and get clear on it (until a few days ago) – it seems that my subconscious mind kind of just created it’s own “BIG DREAM” which didn’t really match what I wanted.

Think of it this way… imagine if you grew up with a bunch of friends who started training at a gym and then later on ended up competing in body building competitions…

… now imagine you starting a workout program just to lose some weight and to put on some muscle and build strength…

… without really realizing it, your subconscious mind might be creating an unconscious “Big Dream” for you where if you continue to work out, you’ll eventually end up becoming a professional bodybuilding who competes just like your friends did…

Now, there is nothing wrong with that if you WANT to become a professional bodybuilder, but what if you don’t?

What if you have zero desire and actually DETEST the idea of competing as a bodybuilder professionally?

If that is the case, what can happen is that one part of your mind (your subconscious) may have this unconscious dream of you becoming a body builder if you keep working out, and another part of your mind (your conscious mind) may have decided that it would never want to do something like that.

A situation like this creates a mental-battle within your mind.

One part of you is excited about working out and getting in shape, and doesn’t want to have anything to do with professional bodybuilding…

… and another part of your mind is thinking that if you keep going to the gym, you’ll eventually become a professional bodybuilder.

So what happens in situations like these?

Self-sabotage!

You end up missing your workouts, you stop going to the gym, and you don’t even know why.

Well, one of the reasons why you might be self-sabotaging yourself is because a part of you is SCARED of achieving success in this field of your life because it thinks that it will lead to you having to do something that you don’t really want to do.

In the same way, when I started building my tabletop gaming blog, I realized that a part of my mind was staring to think that IF I become very successful with my blog in that niche market, I’ll eventually get to the point where I will *HAVE* to open up my own office or start running a tabletop gaming store or something like that.

Why?

Because in the absence of creating your own BIG DREAM, your subconscious mind will just create it’s own, and the BIG DREAM your subconscious mind creates will most likely not motivate you and it could even be sabotaging you!

This is why it’s SO IMPORTANT to sit down and to get clear on what your big dream is in your life and in your business.

When you get clear on that, your subconscious mind will start to attract resources, people and circumstances into your life to help you achieve YOUR DREAM.

If you don’t get clear on it though, your subconscious mind will attract resources, people and circumstances into your life to help IT achieve the dream that IT created for you, and chances are that dream will NOT be what you want exactly, and so you’ll constantly be fighting against your subconscious mind.

The Solution

The solution to this is to actually sit down and to DREAM BIG.

Try to imagine your blog, or your business, or your life becoming ultra successful in various stages of growth.

For example, if you just started your own business, imagine what it will be like when you’re making your first $500/month…

… and then what it will be like to be making $2500/month…

… and then what it will be like to be making $5000/month and $10,000/month and $25,000/month…

… and then what it will be like to be making $50,000/month and $100,000/month with your business…

… and then what it will be like to be making $250,000/month and $500,000/month and $1M/month with your business…

… and think about what it will be like to have 1 customer, 10 customers, 100 customers, 1000 customers or 10,000 customers in your business…

… basically just SCALE UP your business model from where it is now to much, much, much bigger numbers and visualize how you will want your business to work on this large scale…

If you create a BIG DREAM for yourself, and you write it down and you constantly refer to it, it will stop your subconscious mind from going out there and trying to create it’s own “Big Dream” from some kind of mish-mash of other people’s dreams.

You’ll be WAY more motivated to focus on taking the next step towards achieving YOUR dream.

Try it out.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Why Every Blogger Must Leverage YouTube

July 17, 2015 by Paul 4 Comments

In a world where every social media website out there is fighting for your video content, I still think one of the biggest resources that every blogger can leverage is the power of YouTube.

Of course you can record a video and slap it on Facebook, or post a short clip on Instagram, and even Twitter is now allowing some basic video functions.

But after the initial “shares” and “likes” are done, and the Facebook wall updates and the Twitter feed refreshes, where is your video content?

It’s GONE… lost in the ABYSS.

I can’t count how many times I’ve seen someone posting a really cool video on Facebook, and then a few days later I can’t find it!

It gets buried and it’s next to impossible to find.

I usually end up on YouTube searching for it, hoping that whoever uploaded the video to Facebook also uploaded it to YouTube where I can search for it. 🙂

Now, I’m not saying not to use Facebook, or Twitter or Instagram for video.

What I’m saying is to MAKE SURE to use YouTube in your strategy and not to allow your laziness to stop your from doing that.

The reason I say “laziness” is because most of these other social media platforms lure you into using THEIR video platform instead of YouTube by making the upload process SIMPLER than YouTube.

Don’t want to give your video a title, a description, category or any keywords it could be searched by?  Then come on over to Facebook/Twitter/Instagram and just slap your video up there with a billion other videos which have no titles, descriptions, categories or keywords.

It’s easier, right!?

Save yourself a few minutes and just get your video up there on these platforms.

Who needs YouTube?

Well, if you’re being lazy and not taking a few extra minutes to upload your video to YouTube, and give it a proper title, description, category and keywords, you’re missing out on a LOT of exposure for your blog, your brand, and you’re making it much harder than it needs to be for new people to discover you.

Take a look at this screenshot from my YouTube stats screen on one of my channels:

 

I consider my YouTube channel a very “beginner” channel, even though I’ve had it for over 5 years.

I haven’t been consistent with uploading videos, or creating a community and continuing to upload videos on a regular schedule.

I’ve made a LOT of mistakes with my YouTube channel and my video blogging efforts.

However, even with my small channel that’s really just starting out, take a look at the estimated number of minutes my videos have been watched in the last 30 days.

That’s 30,211 minutes watched on my videos in the last 30 days.

That is more than 500 HOURS of people out there sitting in front of their computers and WATCHING my content.

And you know who appears in virtually every single one of my YouTube videos?

ME!

My YouTube videos are out there, building MY brand, bringing awareness to who I am, and my message and mission to help people, and people are spending on average about a THOUSAND minutes a day watching my content on YouTube – and growing.

I think sometimes people see big numbers on the Internet like some celebrity or some viral video getting 10 million views and their minds get programmed to ignore smaller numbers.

They get 300 views on a YouTube video and they think “Oh, how come I only got 300 views..hmmm”

Well, compared to 10 million views, yes 300 views is not a lot, HOWEVER, 300 views is still a LOT of people.

Imagine a room with 300 people sitting in it.

Imagine standing on front of a room with a row of 15 chairs across, spanning back 20 rows and every seat in every row is FULL with a person sitting there.

That’s 300 people…

300 views is a lot of people!

20 views is a LOT!  Assuming 1 view per person, that’s 20 HUMAN BEINGS watching your videos, getting exposed to your brand, to your energy, to your personality, and getting to know you… on autopilot, 24 hours a day, whether you’re awake or asleep.

As I write this Blog post there are people watching my YouTube videos.

There are 1,440 minutes in a day and my channel is getting about 1,000+ minutes watched every single day…

… this means that I’m almost at the point where people are watching more minutes of my videos per day than there are minutes in a day.

Isn’t that crazy?

To me that is mind-boggling as I totally feel like I haven’t even started to really produce any volume of video content, yet.

I’m just getting started.

What about you?

Are you ignoring YouTube?

Are you afraid to make videos?  If so, I recommend watching this video I recorded which shows you how to overcome your fear of making videos.

Are you being a bit lazy and just throwing your content up on Facebook without uploading to YouTube?

If you’re a blogger, I STRONGLY recommend embracing YouTube as a way to deliver your content to more people with greater ease and to make your content searchable and findable beyond just the first 15 minutes after you post your video content on Facebook / Twitter or Instagram.

Those platforms are awesome as well, but don’t take YouTube for granted.

It can be HUGE in your marketing, branding and blogging efforts.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

How To Get Rid of the Fear of What Others Think About You as a Blogger

March 19, 2015 by Paul 4 Comments

We live on a planet populated by over 7 billion people.

Each a unique spirit that came forth to this planet to experience contrast in order to establish a set of unique preferences which will aid in the expansion of the Universe.

In other words, each of us is here for a different reason to create a unique life with a unique set of preferences.

The next time you go to a grocery store or a shopping mall with a busy parking lot, just look around and notice all the different cars parked in their spots.

Why are all the cars different?

I mean as humans, shouldn’t we have already figured out which one of the thousands of cars available out there is the BEST car?

Shouldn’t we have at least figured out which COLOR is the best color?

Why is there still so many different types of cars out there in 2015?  Why haven’t we figured out what the best option is and just all agreed to go with that option?

The reason is because we are ALL unique and all different, and our lives are different and our needs, desires and preferences are all different.

Intuitively, we all know this to be true.

But then if we’re all unique and different then why do we spend so much time and energy worrying about what other people think!?

This short video clip from Abraham / Hicks offers some great insight:

The interesting part that I really like from this video is how Abraham mentions that our well-meaning parents spent our childhood slowly but surely CONVINCING us that our happiness depended on pleasing them.

In other words, when we did things that pleased our parents, they applauded us, cheered us on, gave us positive attention and flowed love towards us.

And when we did things that were not pleasing to our parents, they yelled at us, scolded us, gave us negative attention and held back love from us.

They did this so that they could “steer” us away from danger and hurt and towards safety, as frankly we were still much too naive and inexperienced to be able to think for ourselves.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this – it’s called parenting.

When we were young children we would often disagree with our parent’s opinions when we wanted something and we would try to think for ourselves.

Our parents would say “Don’t touch the oven, you’ll burn your hands!” and what would we do?

We would think they’re full of crap, and we would want to touch the oven.

Then we would touch the oven and we would burn our hands and then run crying to our parents, and they would say “I told you so!  You need to LISTEN to me!  I know what’s BEST for you!” as they consoled us.

Slowly but surely we would be conditioned to think that our parents knew what’s best for us and that we are often mistaken when we think we know what’s best for us.

Once that line of thinking was ingrained in our minds we would go to school, where we would meet our teachers and the whole process would begin again.

At first we would rebel against our teachers, but slowly over time we would be conditioned to the fact that THEY know what’s best for us.

We would be taken to the doctor’s office and again we would be taught that the doctor knows what’s best for us as well.

And the truth is that as children, these well-intentioned adults probably DID know what was better for us than we knew for ourselves – IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS!

If it wasn’t for them, we probably would have DIED by now doing all the stupid things that popped into our heads. 🙂

Sticking a fork in the electric socket?  Yeah sure, that sounds like a great idea!!! 🙂

See my point?

… but the thing is that we are not children anymore.  We are now adults and we have our own built-in “Emotional Guidance System” / Intuition and it is now mature and when we connect to it properly, *IT* is the true essence of us that knows what’s best for us – not our parents, our teachers our siblings or anyone else.

NOBODY knows what’s best for you except YOU and YOUR inner essence.

We all know this, but very often people still ask me…

“Paul, I don’t know why, but I still worry about what other people think…  I try to write a Blog post but then I’m scared to publish it because I’m worried about what others might think…”

or

“Paul, I shot this video and I was going to upload it to YouTube, but then I got this like crazy fear of what people might think of me!  I don’t get it.  Why do I care so much what people think of me!?”

Well, the truth is that the reason why you CARE is because for the first 18 years of your life you were PROGRAMMED / CONDITIONED with a program that could essentially be reduced down to this statement:

“Do what pleases your parents, teachers, friends, society or you MIGHT DIE!  You don’t want to DIE do you!?”

Of course it wasn’t stated in this way, with this type of extreme language, but that is essentially how we were programmed.

Again, when we did things that pleased our parents, we were given what we wanted, positive attention, love and affection.

And when we did the opposite we received the opposite.

Couple that with the fact that our very DNA is programmed with the programming that in order to survive we must be a part of the PACK / HERD, otherwise if we are expelled form the PACK / HERD we will be alone in the wilderness and then we will die!

Is it any wonder that we grow up to be adults who can’t think for ourselves without worrying about what others might think, and we can’t even do something as SIMPLE as writing a Blog post or shooting a video and uploading it to YouTube?

See, before you write that blog post and publish it…you’re part of your HERD.

You’re part of the PACK.

Safe!

But what if you click that publish button, and write that Blog post, where you share YOUR truth, with all the positive intentions that you may have… and then what if the HERD / PACK rejects you!

You might die!

Well, not really… but that is what the child inside of you has been programmed with.

It took me TWO DAYS to publish my first Blog post.

I wrote it, and re-wrote it and printed it out and read it over and over again and I was CONCERNED!

“What if people think this is stupid?”

“What if my boss reads this?”

“What if my co-workers read this and make fun of me?!”

“What if … what if… what if!!!!”

And finally I DID publish that post.  And I didn’t die!

Then I published another, and another, and another.

And slowly but surely I eliminated my fear of what people think…

… I write my Blog posts with ease now because I don’t really care what others think.

Of course I want *SOME* people (ie. my target market) to get value from my blog posts, but I don’t care what people think of ME for writing the posts.

That is one of the most precious gifts and benefits you can get from blogging.

The GIFT of slowly and gently growing more and more confident in your ability to NOT GIVE A SHIT what the rest of the HERD/PACK thinks of you!

So when people say to me “Paul, how do I overcome this constant WORRY I have of what others think of me!?”

My answer is simple…

KEEP BLOGGING!

As you Blog, you’ll start to get followers and people telling you how much value they get from your Blog posts…

… and also at the same time you’ll start getting some “haters”.

This is normal!  Don’t freak out when you get a “hater”.

All it means is that you’re doing the right things.

It means that you’re polarizing your blog audience, which is exactly what you want.

Let me give you an example…

One of the qualities of my target market is that my target market takes 100% responsibility for their lives.

People who try to blame others for things that go wrong in their lives are NOT my target market.

So when people like that arrive on my Blog, they usually become my “haters”, and that’s okay because I’m not here to help those types of people.

For example, I once had a lady email me blaming me for the fact that her 12 year old son was on her computer / Internet, and he came across my Blog where I had said the word “crap” and she didn’t appreciate me exposing her son to such vulgar language.

She actually emailed me saying that!

LOL!

I kindly pointed her towards my terms and conditions where I clearly state that anyone who is under 18 should NOT be reading my site as heck, from time to time I might say something as vulgar as the word “CRAP” (gasp!), but at the same time it boggled my mind as to how naive this lady was…

… she was giving her 12 year old son UNRESTRICTED access to a computer with a full Internet connection and the thing she was worried about exposing him to was my blog saying the word CRAP?!!!

Seriously!?  Has she not seen what’s on the Internet?!

Not only that, but does she really think that the worst word her son has heard growing up and going to school as a 12 year old is the word “crap”?

My point though is that as I kept blogging, and my audience grew, from time to time I would get these comments or emails from “haters” and they come in all shapes and sizes. 🙂

But the cool thing is that as you KEEP BLOGGING, you start to build confidence and these types of opinions of others begin to matter less and less and less to you…

… and that is where TRUE FREEDOM starts to spring from in your life.

Because just think about it…

… imagine if you have ALL the money in the world… like let’s say you won the lottery…

… and imagine you had ALL the time in the world…

… and you thought that those things would give you FREEDOM…

… but you hadn’t yet overcome your fear of what others think of you…

How free would you really be?

You wouldn’t be free at all, would you!!!???

You’d just be a retired, rich person who was still like a little CHILD… spending every day of their life worrying about what others think of them!

Sometimes people say to me “Paul, yeah…I don’t know if Blogging is for me… I don’t know if I’m comfortable posting my thoughts online… I worry too much what people think… that’s why I’m thinking of starting this business over here… I think I can make a lot of money with it, and I don’t have to Blog and worry about being judged.”

Really?

And let’s say you DO make a lot of money with “THAT” business over there… will you really be FREE if you still stay up at night worrying about what others think of you?

That’s not freedom.

True freedom comes from honoring the child inside of you who didn’t know what was best for you in certain situations growing up, and at the same time letting that child go, and allowing the ADULT version of you to come forth and to start thinking for yourself and NOT worrying what the “HERD” thinks of you.

That is the only way you’ll ever be free.

You can’t be free if you continue to live your entire life trying to please everyone around you, somehow expecting to derive happiness from that.

So what’s the best way to take one tiny little step forward towards overcoming your fear of what others think of you?

Start a blog and write your first post.

Then publish another.

Then publish another.

…

Filed Under: 21 Day Blogging Challenge, Make Money Blogging, Make Money Online, Personal Development, Spirituality, Uncategorized

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