Something that I’ve been really learning in many different areas of my life recently is the interplay between the concepts of COMMAND and CONTROL.
Most people, especially poor and middle class people are OBSESSED with CONTROL.
They try to control EVERYTHING they possibly can in their lives to the last detail.
The typical belief of a poor or middle-class blue-collar worker is:
“If you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself.”
People say that all the time, and I used to say it as well.
However, the challenge with this way of thinking is that it implies that there is only ONE way to do something right – your way.
In reality there are MANY different ways that something can be done, and yes sometimes the way you do something might be a slightly better way of doing something – BUT – is the other way of doing it really that much worse?
And what’s the tradeoff?
Living YOUR Mission In Life
The most important thing we should really be focusing on in life is connecting to OUR mission and living OUR mission here on Earth.
We all have strengths and weaknesses and to be successful in life we have to put a laser focus on our STRENGTHS and let go of control over everything else.
Living our mission in life means learning to take COMMAND of our lives in two ways:
- Learning to COMMAND YOURSELF
- Learning to COMMAND OTHERS
The most important first step that we must take is to learn how to take command over ourselves.
Self leadership is always the first step.
You can’t command and lead anyone else if you can’t even command yourself.
Our life is a life-long journey over learning how to become the “commander” in our lives.
Being in “command” of our lives means taking 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens in our lives.
No matter what the situation is that shows up in your life, you have to take 100% responsibility for how you RESPOND to the situation.
Responsibility literally means RESPONSE + ABILITY.
Life may throw things at you from time to time that seem to come out of left field, but YOU always have the ability to choose how you respond to these things.
When you learn to COMMAND things in your life, by taking 100% responsibility, you become much more powerful.
The other part of learning to command things in your life is the ability to know which things in your life YOU want to be in full control over (usually your strengths), and which things to delegate to others.
Learning to COMMAND others involves learning to let go of the CONTROL that you would have over how something is done if YOU were the one doing it.
Command vs Control
Learning to be a good leader / commander of people in your life, involves learning certain skills.
One of those skills is developing the understanding that when you delegate something to someone, there’s always a balancing act of asking the person to do something – to produce a certain result – versus telling the person HOW to do something.
Being a good commander / leader of people involves spending more of your time and energy being very clear on WHAT you want done, and what result you want achieved, and LETTING GO of the CONTROL of how they accomplish that thing.
As long as the person produces the result that you desire, you have to be okay with letting them do that thing however they thought was the best way to do it.
The best leaders in the world surround themselves with people that they TRUST to produce the results that they want, and they are constantly challenging themselves to release more and more control over HOW things are done, in order to be able to have more COMMAND over more things in their lives.
When you release control over things that don’t really matter in your life – things that you shouldn’t be trying to control – it frees you up to have more focus on the things that really DO matter to you.
Otherwise, you can spend your entire life trying to do everything yourself, because you have this limiting belief that if YOU don’t do it your way, maintaining an iron grip of total control over it, then someone else will do it the “wrong” way.
Learning to Trust The Universe
Another side to the COMMAND vs CONTROL concept is learning to relinquish more CONTROL over to the Universe or God or whatever you believe in.
Often times we ask the Universe for something, issuing a COMMAND like “I want to make $5,000/m more than I do now”, but when the Universe starts to bring us opportunities to do just that, we start arguing with what shows up.
Meaning, we have some idea of how WE THINK that extra income might show up in our lives, but when the Universe manifests some other opportunity or way for it to show up, we ignore it or we fight against it.
We have to learn how to relinquish more control over the HOW that the Universe uses to accomplish what we want.
The “HOW” doesn’t really matter.
The Universe will often have a plan that is a hundred times better than whatever our mind can conceive, but we lack the necessary trust to keep going long enough to see that plan come to fruition.
Give the Universe a COMMAND… that is what your role in your life is – being the Supreme Commander in Charge of YOUR Life.
Your role is NOT being the supreme CONTROLLER of everything in your life!
You can’t control everything anyways – so it’s a futile thing to try to chase anyways.
The next time you’re stressed out about something, just ask yourself “Am I trying to CONTROL the situation too much? Do I need to gain more clarity over what I WANT? Do I need to become better at communicating with myself and others so that I can COMMAND myself and COMMAND others to do give me the results I want?”
Often times you’ll notice that stress comes from trying to CONTROL something you don’t really have control over anyways.
Take a few moments to relax and think to yourself “More COMMAND, Less CONTROL.”
Try to gain more clarity over exactly what you want, and work on your ability to COMMAND others to give you want you want, without trying to CONTROL every little detail of how they accomplish it.
You’ll be amazed how much stress you can release, just by letting go of some of the control you’re clinging onto.